It all started when I found this artifact in my backyard. I guess that an alien spaceship had landed there and was doing some repairs. When they left, they forgot this wrench.  I showed it to my neighbors and they said that they had never seen anything like that before. They recommended that I take it to the poLICE, but I'm not THAT dumb...Soon I was visited by some men in grey suits and black shiny shoes and was kidnapped... Just coincidence? I don't think so! The grey suited men took me to a small windowless room. They asked me if I wanted to help them fight the Aliens that had left the socket wrench in my backyard... One said "Have you actually seen what visited you?" and he turned on a television...
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OH NO, I cried... These aliens are just too goofy to look at... I'm so glad that you grey suited representatives of an unnamed government agency spirited me away to this windowless room... I'll cooperate fully... Please, please, please DON'T make me look at those goofy Escherian aliens anymore... (editors note: at this point our hero starts behaving like a total weenie and not at all like a true gentleman... Therefore, the rest of this scene is deleted... That gives us time to RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!) It was clearly time for me to get some PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIC HELP... Well, I couldn't afford that so I chose to visit my ONLINE "SHRINK IN A BOX"... Those disturbing images of Aliens had put me in a classic state of Paranoid Schitzo... It seemed that instead of me watching the television, the Television was watching ME!... 
GET HELP NOW... (a hyperlink to my "Shrink-in-a-Box" computer program)http://www.angelfire.com/art2/gregvan/shrink.html
or just continue with the story... if(space==time){countDownToBlastOff--;} Eventually, the grey suited men realized that I was just too "LAME" to be of any use to them and they left. I inspected the television set that they had shown me the disgusting pictures of the aliens... and I came to the shocking realization that it was radically different to anything I had ever seen before... At that moment I realized they had spirited me away to A parallel universe. I remember reading about them in a classic Sci-Fi book called "The Coming Of The Quantum Cats" by Frederik Pohl.
I turned on channel six and saw the president on the news. He said "I get no satisfaction, that's why I sing the blues..." Then the picture panned to his wife, she turned to him and said... "Don't get crazy, you know just what to do... Crank that old Victorola, put on your rocking shoes! UN HUH!" It's Saturday Night!"...
I changed the channel and saw that they were playing an old movie called "FUTUREWORLD" WITH PETER FONDA AND YUL BRENNER... Yet, It seemed to be like totally different than I remembered... As a matter of fact, ALL the stations were wierd... SEE FOR YOURSELF! Try them all, eventually they all lead to FUTUREWORLD2525! When you think about it, this is true in life also... No matter what path you select at the "fork in the road" you end up in the same place... FUTUREWORLD2525! click here to read the rest of the story...
This artwork is available for sale painted on a coffee cup at my zazzle store: http://www.zazzle.com/gregvan/mugs |